Some say, "Life must go on, Dear. Keep your head up. So many things to do. So many things await you."
I know. I know. But my minds and my heart seemed cannot function well together.
I just felt so weak. I wanted to do nothing but weeping. I felt so lost and brokenhearted. I need more than just advice. I need hug more. Or comforting words. I need love, support and care rather than advice. Or sometimes just a message saying hello. No lecture, please. I need a bandage to heal the cuts. Not knowledge to fill up my head. My heart ache, feels like cuts deep down inside. I'm not ready for this.
I was ready to welcome our third baby.
My body knew it. It changed. It welcomed our baby.
And I did too. We all did.
I have loved our baby, the first time I read the testpack.
I have loved our baby even I hadn't feel it moved nor kick.
I sang to our baby, talked to our baby when I laid, walked, sat and sew.
I was more than ready to set our baby's room and plan that him/her was going to join our homeschool days.
But, I was never ready to hear that there's no more heartbeat.
I was not ready at all.
You just gone to soon, Little One. Gone too soon.
