Some say, "Life must go on, Dear. Keep your head up. So many things to do. So many things await you."
I know. I know. But my minds and my heart seemed cannot function well together.
I just felt so weak. I wanted to do nothing but weeping. I felt so lost and brokenhearted. I need more than just advice. I need hug more. Or comforting words. I need love, support and care rather than advice. Or sometimes just a message saying hello. No lecture, please. I need a bandage to heal the cuts. Not knowledge to fill up my head. My heart ache, feels like cuts deep down inside. I'm not ready for this.
I was ready to welcome our third baby.
My body knew it. It changed. It welcomed our baby.
And I did too. We all did.
I have loved our baby, the first time I read the testpack.
I have loved our baby even I hadn't feel it moved nor kick.
I sang to our baby, talked to our baby when I laid, walked, sat and sew.
I was more than ready to set our baby's room and plan that him/her was going to join our homeschool days.
But, I was never ready to hear that there's no more heartbeat.
I was not ready at all.
You just gone to soon, Little One. Gone too soon.
2 comments:
Hatiku ikut merasakan kehilangan yg mendalam.
Menangislah ketika sedih, kita tak perlu menahannya. Karena perasaan itu nyata ada. Biarkan mengalir keluar.
Biarkan sang Waktu yg akan datang menghapus air matamu.
Tak akan berkurang KasihNya kepada kita. Ketika kepala kita telah tegak dan air mata sudah terhapus, dan ketika kita menoleh ke belakang, baru akan terlihat indahnya jalan yg pernah kita lalui bersamaNya.
Love & Hugs for you. You'll never walk alone.
Thanks sooo much, Dear Sister. *hugs*
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